Automatic merge from submit-queue (batch tested with PRs 58420, 60483). If you want to cherry-pick this change to another branch, please follow the instructions <a href="https://github.com/kubernetes/community/blob/master/contributors/devel/cherry-picks.md">here</a>.

Kube apiserver ServerRunOptions set default called before use

**What this PR does / why we need it**:

move `ServerRunOptions` set default function  `defaultOptions` out of `CreateKubeAPIServerConfig`, it should be called before real use `CreateNodeDialer`. So move it to cobra.Command just after kube-apiserver flags parsed.

Similarly `ServerRunOptions.Validate` move there too.

**Release note**:

```release-note
NONE
```